DEPRESSION: Not a joking sturrvs

Many a times, depression is taken really lightly in our part of the world...BUT it is a big deal! A DEPRESSIVE DISORDER is not a passing blue mood but rather persistent feelings of sadness and/or worthlessness and a lack of desire to engage in formerly pleasurable activities. 

Today, I am not a blogger or anything. Just a person...a person who knows what it feels like to be depressed. A person who has had a lack to engage in pleasurable activities. A person who has had suicidal thoughts. 

Yes, I have had suicidal thoughts...because at a time you think being out of this world, would make everything better. You think you have no reason to live. You think "Even God has given up on me." 
That moment, that split second, you assume no one is going through more pain than you are.

And it's even worse going through this in a typical African home; with African parents who believe that "your mates (who are doing better) do not have two heads"!!

It's unbearable when you are surrounded by people yet have no one to talk to. Not a single soul! Because you parents don't wanna hear about you "little" issues, your siblings are looking up to you, your bestfriend might just spill it all out to the world and your boyfriend thinks you're overreacting.

And we females are even more prone to this disorder because of how vulnerable we are, how our brains overthink issues and how badly we are at dealing with bad situations. Not a single soul wants to even try and understand your frustrations, your problems...everyone just assumes you're PMS'ing!! Everyone wants you to shut up 'cos someone is going through worse in life.

But the thing is we all don't have the same strength to absorb and deal with events. "One man's meat is definitely another man's poison". What will tear me apart will seem like "a small sturrvs" to you but yours may seem irrelevant to me too. So let just be there for each other. Let's stop being hypocritical. Let's listen to our wards and kids even though their problems don't seem to matter. Let us make therapists available for these amazing people who are going through trying times. 
Hmph! Depression is real. Depression is growing even more rampant in our generation. Depression is taking too many lives. Lives of too many beautiful human beings that the world needs...SIMPLY BECAUSE THERE IS NO ONE TO TALK TO!!!


It's about time we come together to fight this monster called DEPRESSION!!
It's about time we become our 'brothers' keeper'!
It's about time we become better parents, friends...better human beings!
It's about time we get educated on depression!!

In partnership with Makeup by Dela,Hair by Larousha and NuvivicakesGh we're starting a secondary school tour  education on depression. You can click the link below to join a whatsapp group or leave your comments down in the comment box and i'd happily reply your comments. 


TO ANYONE DEALING WITH DEPRESSION ATM:
YOU'RE AN AMAZING INDIVIDUAL WHOSE EXISTENCE IN THE WORLD IS MORE APPRECIATED THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE. YOU'RE UNIQUE AND SPECIAL AND EVEN THOUGH IT MAY BE DIFFICULT TO FEEL IT AT THIS POINT, YOU'RE DEEPLY LOVED. SUICIDE IS NOT THE SOLUTION!!!


Click link to join group 
https://chat.whatsapp.com/JLWxDqzK7Nh99GCvDlulLb

CHEATING: The Discussion

Hey lovelies! So this issue has been bugling my mind for some time now. I mean this is a real issue affecting most lives. Hope you enjoy.

In a very broad sense, cheating involves betraying a partner’s expectations about the type of contact the cheater has with others.

When a husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, violates one’s expectations about what is appropriate, people feel betrayed. Keep in mind that relationships are not based on logic, but are influenced by our emotions.

As a result, cheating is difficult to define because people differ in the type of contact they feel it is appropriate for a partner to have with someone else.

Cheating is the getting of a reward for ability or finding an easy way out of an unpleasant situation by dishonest means according to a dictionary...and I totally agree!
Most of us find the easiest way out of difficult situations by just cheating. 

I know the question on your mind now is "why do people cheat?" 

Basically, when it comes to infidelity, two related explanations have been given.

The first explanation is probably the most well known: Spouses cheat because of problems in their relationship. Something is missing, passion has faded, partners feel lonely, a partner finds someone who treats them better or who appreciates them more than their current spouse, and so on.

Simply stated, people claim that they are not happy in their relationship, so they look for love and affection elsewhere.

The second explanation is more detailed in nature. This explanation ignores the reasons that people give for cheating and looks deeper into our human nature.

The second explanation explores what it means to be human and asks: "Why is being faithful to a spouse so difficult for many people?"

Probably the best way to think about these two explanations is to view them as two sides of the same coin.


One explanation looks at what people say about infidelity, while the other explanation looks at how and why infidelity occurs.

Together, both explanations give us a more complete picture about infidelity, love, and romance.

Comment below and share your reason for cheating, which gender is more unfaithful in a relationship, how you found out your partner was cheating or any other thing you wanna share on this topic.

CIAO!!

BEARD VS MAKEUP

         

Hey guys!!!! So i promised to do a blog every week and i'm trying to deliver. So my male readers have had lots of complaints...basically they feel that they're being left out. So i decided to include them on a very touchy subject. Is beard the makeup for guys???!!

You take a good look at the average university guy on campus and you'd notice a trend or "gang" called “the beard gang”. This is where guys grow their beards to cover their chins and side burns. Though beautiful, this growing trend is becoming a must for these lads. The growing of beards has been equated to the use of makeups on the side of ladies. 

One may ask, does growing of beards make a guy more handsome?

The beard works for Drake so certainly it does!!

I once saw this guy who, prior to growing his beard was not that handsome; but after growing his beard, he could pass for my prince charming. 

On countless occasions i've heard guys say girls who use makeup are totally deceptive. Now if guys say they won’t date a girl who constantly has makeup on, why should girls also date a bearded guy? 

Beards are equally as deceptive as makeup. Makeup makes ladies look prettier just as beards make guys look...well...hotter. I mean most guys rant about how different girls look without their makeup. It has become 'normal' for guys to throw shade at girls after they see them without makeup on. Well I just wanted these same guys to ask themselves if they'd be cool if I, or many other ladies out there, ask “Will I want to date a bearded guy?” and “What if he takes the beard off and what I see is not what I want” before going on dates with them. Doesn't feel good for y'all hiding behind the mask of hair, does it?


I mean, I love me a bearded guy (and i'm certainly NOT trying to throw any shade here) but it's not fair that ladies out there are mocked (or even worse) for not looking "the same" without makeup on. Ask yourself if you'd buy ghc300 (or more) worth of product to look "the same"!!

But beards are cool (almost too cool) and whether it's corporately accepted or not, our young lads are going to rock the hell out of their facial hair. So it better be accepted now.

Don't forget to leave your comments in the comment section and lemme know what you think about makeup and beards and what you want me to post about.

Shout outs to my girl Doreen Tutera for helping me with this write up. (Baby girl come for your credits...lmao)

LOOKING CHIC DURING THE DRY SEASON

Hello everyone!! It's been ages since I posted cos of some little issues which are being sorted currently...but hey I'd try and post weekly or something.
Ok so today's blog is about my ladies looking chic as well as protected for the dry season.
As we know harmattan happens mostly/only (I stand corrected) in the western coast of Africa during the ending and very beginning of the year. And it can get cold, extremely sunny and dry or patchy during this time. My apologies to my readers who requested for a Halloween post (I have no excuse whatsoever- except I totally forgot).

So here goes:

1. Lip gloss : I think during the harmattan season glossy lips become a necessity as well as an asset. Ladies (even gentlemen) can rock a lip balm, lip gloss or an oil based lipstick. Try and avoid matte lipstick since that does not moisturize the lips but only keep the lips dry hence aiding chapped lips.  You can rock lipgloss in any color as preferred.



2. Sun shades or sunglasses: Another accessory that is easy to rock and bring the chic out in you is a pair of sunglasses and shades. These allow you to look chic during the dry season and also prevent dust and dirt from entering your eyes and ruining your eye makeup. It may get a little too sunny during the harmattan hence the necessity of the sunglasses.




3. Cover-ups: In this sense I mean any clothing that covers from your neck down to your toes. It could be a colorful blazer, a denim jacket, a cute long sleeve crop top, a beautiful overall, a skinny pair of pants, a gorgeous turtleneck, a flattering midi dress anything that covers but looks flattering on your body. It doesn't necessarily have to be something from head to toe but your clothing should protect your skin from the dry and somewhat cold weather (which is really harsh).



4. Long hair: During the harmattan season, it is most suitable to wear a long hair and also let it down.  Letting down your long braids, natural hair or extensions covers your scalps from the harsh weather conditions and the back of your neck which protects that part of your body. This doesn't mean my readers with short hair would be left out. The last point would talk about how y'all can look chic and protected in your short hair.



5. Headgears: The headgear is one of the most recent trends. And apart from the sassiness it adds to one's looks it is also a very important protective covering for the harsh dry weather. So my short hair hunnies and even the ladies with longer hair can rock the headgear to cover up the scalps and hair from dirt and harshness especially and still look tres tres chic.

You can also write to me in the comment section especially what works for you during hamattan. xx

THE DOUBLE STANDARDS HAVE TO END

There's something going on on social media that I don't seem to make meaning of. The first is this Teebills and Tiwa Savage marriage saga that everyone is talking about. Now this is a clear he said-she said thing. No one actually lives in their marital home with them. No one even knows what goes on in their lives. So let's just assume everything Teebills said is true and everything Tiwa Savage said is a lie. Was it right of him to have publicly defamed the breadwinner of his home? Was it right of him to humiliate the mother of his wife and grandmother of his son? Was it even right for him to publicly accuse Dr. Sid, 2face Idibia and Don Jazzy? Knowing these are people he has comes into contact with very often.
From the start Teebills has been at fault. Even if she actually cheated, it was just wrong of him to come at her the way he did. Let's face facts here, at this point he has nothing to lose.

Now here is my problem: those bashing and attacking Tiwa for revealing supposed happenings in her marriage; HOW DARE YOU? Society has made men "untouchable". Nobody bashed or attacked Teebills for bringing his married life into public scrutiny but when Tiwa retaliates she's a "bad wife" and "terrible person". She didn't ask for any of this actually. She didn't know her mentally unstable husband would wake up one day and decide to ruin her career and attempt suicide for whatever reason he knows. He called this upon himself!

Our society is such that  men are hailed in whatever they do. In any feud, misunderstanding, disagreement or even a normal scenario that involves both sexes, the woman is at fault and the man is allowed all peace like nothing happened.

A typical example is the alleged infidelity claim against Jay Z in Beyonce's LEMONADE album. Everyone is out to get "Becky with the good hair" but the actual culprit of the allegation, Mr. Carter, is let off the hook.
Another example is when Kim Kardashian is slut-shamed for posting online a censored nude photo but Usher is "brave" and "hot" for posting a rather uncensored nude photo of himself.

I mean this shit has to end!! Like forreal this double standard has to end. Regardless of the sex, a wrongdoing is a wrongdoing. Society needs to stop finding excuses for the man and see a problem as it is.

I'm not speaking as a feminist or anything of that sort. I'm just a woman who has dealt with the double standards of society and hence I know how it feels.

SONG REVIEW : VIEWS BY DRAKE

I think I've never seen this kinna anticipation for an album. I mean ANTI and LEMONADE had their fair share of anticipation but people literally stayed up for VIEWS. Drake really is the G.O.A.T!! He got everyone on his side. He even made the weather obey him. Having the entire Canada on 6 degrees celcius. Who can really compete with that?



















However the album is not as good as rumored. Yes I said it!! It really wasn't worth the anticipation (Drake fans can kill me now). Out of the 20 songs on the album, I personally think HYPE, REDEMPTION, ONE DANCE and CONTROLLA are the few good ones (and GRAMMY if you like trap music).

It might grow on you as time goes but on the first listen, the album is just not good enough!!! 4 songs into VIEWS and I was asleep again. J. Cole never made a song you wouldn't like on the first listen (that's my opinion). I mean it's not a bad album but it's just not worth all that hype.

But hey it's Drake...and we all LOVE him. We're going to jam to VIEWS regardless. But it just doesn't do it for me.

VIEWS by Drake available on iTunes: drakevie.ws/views

 

HOW TO DRESS TO SUIT YOUR BODY SHAPE

Getting dressed is a whole lot easier when you know what pieces work best for your shape. Most women fall into one of these four categories: circle (thick around the middle), triangle (larger at the bottom), hourglass (curvy but evenly proportioned), and rectangle (straight up and down). The body types described is of women's bodies, not a girl who has not gone through puberty.
 
 1. The Circle
 
If you have a circular or an apple-shaped body, then you want to elongate your midsection and create the illusion of a smaller waist.

• go for v-neck tops to create the illusion of a longer torso.
• wear a bra that offers good lift and support.
• wear belts at the smallest part of your waist.
• conceal tummy bulge by wearing empire tops and dresses.
• wear boot cut and flared jeans to create an even line from the shoulders down.
• wear shorter skirts to show off your legs and draw attention away from your midsection.
• go for monochromatic (one color) looks 

2. The Rectangle
  

If your body is rectangle-shaped or like a banana, then you want to create curves where they don't necessarily exist.

• wear scoop neck and sweetheart tops to create curves.
• wear long jackets to create a lean look.
• wear tops with collars, ruffles and details to flatter your chest.
• wear a good bra that will make the most of what you have.
• avoid wearing overwhelming styles.
• layer to add more dimensions.
• wear dresses with ruffles. Cinches on sides are ideal.
• have fun with colorful bottoms... feel free to experiment.

3. The Triangle
  

If your body is pear-shaped or triangular, then you want to minimize your lower half and focus attention upward.

• avoid wearing clothing that draws attention to hips and thighs, such as cargo pants or print skirts.
• try a-line skirts, which camouflage wider hips.
• keep hems of pants, skirts and dresses wide to balance the hips.
• experiment with light-colored tops and dark-colored bottoms for contrast.
• look for boat neck tops, square and cowl necklines.
• wear strapless dresses to show off arms and even out proportions.
• try styles with ruffles on top.
• wear jackets that hit right above the waist.
• opt for pointy-toed shoes to elongate your legs.

4. The Hourglass
   

If your body is hourglass-shaped, then you're a lucky girl! Your shape is all about tastefully showing off those curves: not too baggy, not too tight.

• wear a good bra and showcase your bust.
• wear fitted dresses.
• wear a belt at the waist to enhance your hourglass shape.
• try wrap dresses.
• go for high-waisted skirts to show off your hips.
• pick thin, lightweight styles and fabrics.
• wear skinny or straight leg jeans.
•  don`t hide your curves with baggy clothing.